Black Mirror: White Bear (2013) review

Or your typical who is the monster, and who is the man.

Black Mirror - White Bear (2013) Just me and Manface.

Just to warn you there are going to be a lot of spoilers in this one. Do not read this review if you haven't yet watched the episode. I believe the point of Black Mirror lies in your own complete uninfluenced undertaking of it. In a series about the way we experience media you need to experience it through the intended media, not through the thoughts of others. It is all about your initial response.

Once again, I know Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror (2011 - ) is a TV series not a film, however I take the stance of; It's my blog and I'll do what I like.

I could argue that with quality of film making, arguable durations, as well as the debate of the role of cinema in today's society, not to mention the advent of the home cinema experience, that the roles and definitions of film are constantly blurring. (I mean heck, we don't even use film any more. The concept of 'film' is as ethereal as the content of the first episode in Black Mirror's new season.) I do believe that's this is true but these aren't debates I want to get into here. Maybe in a pub with a few vodkas. I'll see you there.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. It's my blog and I'll do what I want to.

So if Black Mirror: Be Right Back (2013) (you can find my review here) was this season's equivalent of Black Mirror: Fifteen Million Merits (2011), I guess Black Mirror: White Bear (2013)  is the new Black Mirror: National Anthem (2013). Not as good. But that's a huge compliment to the latter.

White Bear follows a girl (Lenora Crichlow) who wakes up in a house with no memory of who or where she is. Her only clue is a photo of a little girl she assumes is her daughter. As she ventures into the outside world she discovers a strange symbol broadcast on every television screen has indoctrinated almost the entire population. The few who are unaffected spend their days desperately attempting to escape the Hunters who,  in the absence of law or society, have become faceless, bloodthirsty killing machines. The majority of humanity however are now silent husks who spend every waking moment watching and filming the plights of the hunted. With the help of another unaffected (Tuppence Middleton), the girl must make it to White Bear, a transmitter tower with the intention of wiping out the signal, all the while with the niggling feeling that everything isn't quite what it seems.

Southland Tales (2006) Review

In case you are wondering, you probably just won't get it.

Watch the Trailer here.

For the record I did warn you that my reviews weren't going to be of the latest films, mostly just what I pick up along the way.

This is the sight of Manface running away from a film.
Get used to it!

Someone lent me Southland Tales quite a while ago, but then it got packed up when I moved house so it's been caught up in the unboxing a bit.

I don't have much to say about it to be honest. I started watching it on the sofa with Manface who walked out after 10 minutes with his usual proclamation of 'this is sh**!' Although this time it was more of a 'this is sh**... right?'

It seems one thing Southland Tales is conclusively good at is making you doubt yourself in your boredom. It creates a real 'is it me, or him?' scenario which succeeds perfectly in perpetuating it's 'you just don't get it' culture. It's almost like an emotionally abusive partner; you should be aware that you're a little stupid for loving it, but instead it convinces you that if you don't love it it's because you're stupid.

In Manface's defence I could tell he tried really hard to stick around this time, but Southland Tales is massively trying. It almost became the third ever film I couldn't be bothered to finish.

Southland Tales is set in 2008, three years after a nuclear attack on Texas which has wiped out half of the state. Now America, and soon the world, is powered by a perpetual motion power called fluid karma rendering oil irrelevant. The main narrative follows Boxer Santos (Dwayne Johnson) an action movie star and the husband of a Senator's daughter who is suffering with amnesia. His struggle with identity is compacted as the lines between his forgotten past, blank present and imagined future blur. He is unknowingly having an affair with Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar) a porn star with a plan for total stardom starting with her 'topical' chat show, album, energy drink and dubious ties with the Neo Marxism movement. Finally we have Ronald Taverner (Seann William Scott) an LAPD officer and another character suffering a bout of severe memory loss on the search for his supposed twin brother Roland.

If this sounds complicated, trust me its only the tip of a thoroughly and pointlessly convoluted iceberg. Usually I quite like this kind of hodgepodge of narrative, it adds a kind of chronological realism and allows the reader to pick for themselves what they deem relevant all the while desperately pondering over those they though not. In writing my summary I've missed out a lot, I've probably confused or mistaken even more.  However, trying to write a concise synopsis for the film kind of represents how I felt about watching it. I really couldn't be bothered. The effort of processing it genuinely isn't worth the payoff. I love Donne Darko (2001) but Richard Kelly has really missed the mark with this one.

Setting the Scene

Before I get into writing about my film viewing exploits I wanted to give you a run down of the characters in this tale. You have me and I have my main gang of people I force to watch films with me. So if we are going to go on this journey together I may as well introduce you.

I'm not going to name them as I find it's rude to talk behind people's backs. Especially to strangers. However I have given them monikers so you can build a sense of familiarity.

 Me - I just plain love film. I love blockbuster films, I love indie films, I love cult films, I love foreign films, I love art house films, I love good films and I really love bad films. I have a 1st BA (hons) degree in Film Studies and Drama and I work for the company which produces Total Film, Odeon and SFX magazines. I don't actually work on those titles or anything. I also love a bit of misdirection.

The only films I have turned off half way are Death Proof (2007) and The Black Dahlia (2006). 

Manface - this is my boyfriend, housemate and before all of this my best friend of 8 or so years. He is the only person I can't pick films out for. There is no logic to him. He thinks Leon was "ok" which in my mind is a sin. Yet, his favourite film is Planet Terror (2007) and I'm still making up for the fact I made him watch The Human Centipede (2009) while I spent the whole time hiding under a blanket.

It's actually easier to list the films he hasn't walked out on in 10 minutes!

Beardface - Housemate number one. He loves blockbusters, comic book films and anything with geek references which is awesome. Will also willingly watch children's films with me and quote The Princess Bride (1987). Despite our geeky similarities I probably argue more with him about film than anyone.

I don't think he has ever willingly not finished a film.

Grinnyface - Grinnyface is housemate number 2. He's pretty hard to read, what with him grinning all the time. Plus whenever you ask him what he thinks of anything he always responds with a weird Dad joke which takes me a while to process. Grinnyface's Ladyface has some pretty awesome taste in films though so I think he shares some of her credit a lot of the time.

He also hasn't stopped a film halfway through that I know of. I could ask but I can't be bothered to work out if he's joking.


I will add any others as I go but since these guys have the pleasure of living with me they'll probably be the main culprits.

Edit 23.02.2012 - Got a new one for ya!

Specialface - Specialface doesn't live with me shock horror, but she does live at the other house I seem to spend the rest of my time. We went to the same secondary school, though we never spoke until we went to sixth form and had performing arts together. Then we hated each other for a year until everyone else quit. Somehow we magically switched from worst enemies to best friends over night. 

Now she's like a stray dog I once fed who will never leave me alone. I could beat her and she'll still be loyal. She's like my abused wife. Oh and she has a very special happy little grin. She would be Grinnyface if it wasn't already taken.

Simpsons avatars courtesy of The Simpsons Movie (2007) website. Check it out here!