Titanic Disorder

Or, Rose, Rose, I'm going to the shops Rose. Thanks Jack, see you later Jack. Wait, Jack, Jack! Don't forget the milk Jack. I won't Rose. I love you Rose. I love you too Jack.

I hate Titanic (1997).

Not even going to go into why as we have had nearly 20 years to moan about it. However, the main thing that really made me want to scrub out my ears with a scouring pad to save me from the inanity of it, was the fact that every single character has to mention Jack and Rose's names whenever they talk about them, to them, or in proximity to them. It is as if James Cameron is terrified that we might forget who these starcrossed nimrods, through whom is the only way we can possibly feel any sympathy for the deaths of over 1,500 people, are if they don't!

In case you can't tell. It really irritated me. I did note that in one sentence one of their names were used 3 times. I never wanted to go back and gather evidence though. It was just too painful.

Luckily for me though, CinemaSins have done it for me! Enjoy folks!

If the embedded video doesn't work for you, try going here.

Edit: Yeah sorry, I can't just leave it at that. I have to rant more!

Seriously, Cameron uses their names in the dialogue 173 times?! Even in a 3 hour and 14 minute movie (thanks for that as well Cameron!) that is a name mention every 1 minutes and 5 seconds!

Stuff Sentence: E Deck, Cameron should be sentenced to Titanic heaven with Jack and Rose so he can endure the 'name calling' for eternity!

Rant over. Promise.

My Random Term Glossary

This post will be continuously edited and reworked as I add more things to it. It will get messy. It will get disorganised. I will not apologise. Yes I will, I'm British. Sorry!

Deep Impact Effect
This is when a film worries that people are not emotionally invested enough in a harrowing plot line / are getting bored, so they hold up a crying baby to remind you of how serious this all is. Courtesy of Deep Impact (1998).

Hamster Style
Something happens in the first 10 minutes that comes back to haunt the narrative. Ever noticed how anyone who coughs at the start of a film almost always dies of consumption at the end? Your basic Chekhov's gun. "One must never place a loaded rifle on the stage if it isn't going to go off. It's wrong to make promises you don't mean to keep." - Chekhov. Genuinely can't remember who nicknamed it Hamster style though.

Phoebe Buffay Treatment
When you never show the ending to a film in order to protect the viewer and yourself from a horrific ending. From the Friends (1994-2004) episode 'The One Where Old Yeller Dies'.

Titanic Disorder
An illness in which a film has to mention the name of the character each line is addressing, every single time. This is to ensure the audience remembers their names, and that they know exactly who they are talking to because editing, acting or any form of direction just isn't enough. It is most commonly found in plays written by primary school children, and James Cameron films. Courtesy of Titanic (1997).