Friday, 4 July 2014

Back in your box Arnie.

So, I'm back, again. Massively resisting the urge to use ridiculously clichéd catchphrases. BACK IN YOUR BOX ARNIE!

I have a new laptop. I don't like it. The track pad is too massive for my weirdly stunted thumbs and my mouse pointer takes so long to scroll anyway, it feels like I am sexually assaulting my laptop to get from one side of the screen to the other. I have upped the settings, but no dice. I'm starting to think I have no soul as lifts (or elevators, American cousins) also seem oblivious to when I press the buttons. At work I often have to wait until someone else will hit my floor for me.

Hit the stairs you bum!

But we won't let all that stop us from having fun now will we? Well actually, I probably will, because I can be bratty like that.

I have actually had my new laptop for a little while. However, it has unfortunately left me too poor to enjoy the simple pleasures of the cinema, and although I do have Sky movies, they never seem to have anything worth watching. Seriously, how can Sky be so expensive, and yet the only thing I ever watch on it is Storage Wars (TV Series 2010 - ) repeats, (which I can get on Freeview anyway) while I desperately wait for the shows I watch which are exclusive to Sky? (Which by the way don't even fill up one hand, even if we don't count my weirdly short thumbs?)

I don't think I even realised how weirdly short my thumbs are until I bought this laptop.

Wow, two rants for the price of one. Well at least I am posting.

Still, I have just finished watching the latest season of Game of Thrones (TV Series 2011 -) (which is exclusive to Sky, yey!), while simultaneously catching up on the books. (As much as I love Game of Thrones, after this rant I am starting to realise it probably isn't worth £40+ pounds per month, but hey, Manface is a football fan so likelihood is we will continue to pay for it, and if he wants his football so badly, then gosh darnit I will have my movies package that I never watch.)

That's three rants now. I'm on fire.

I'm really not going to review it. Too many spoilers, too many intricacies, and I don't review TV as I don't feel you can judge a series until you see how they tie it all together, *ahem* Lost (TV Series 2004 - 2010), Heroes (TV Series 2006-2010). Well except all of those episodes of Black Mirror I reviewed, but I let that slide because each episode is self contained so pretty much a film in its own right. And once again, it's my blog and I'll do what I like, so there.

So.....the point was, I'm back, have laptop, and will hopefully be reviewing actual films for you again soon.

As a special treat for any of you who were really bored enough to read this entire post, (seriously, I'm not even going to read it back to proof, this is pure, unadulterated filler), here is a fabulous version of what the Game of Thrones intro would have looked like on an 1990s VHS edition by Mikolaj.Birek, which they themselves constructed from this fabulous video from Hunterlsanders, and this music by Steve Duzz.



In case you don't get it kids, in the 90s it was very impressive for an actor to be able to convey all two emotions, happy and serious.

See you soon... maybe.


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